I am Doug, midfield maestro and all round utility player. I only deal in

spectacular long range goals. I'm not interested in 1 on 1's or tap ins.

That's why I pass to others, who are more willing to accept the aforementioned

style of striking.

I find that my ability is greatly enhanced if I have a few drinks the

night prior to the game.... much like Eric Twinge the school boy when he

eats bananas.

Also, now that I have an inhaler, my power will be increased even more

(or my lung capacity) so I will be expecting to score a couple of 50 yard

blasts (keeping a realistic target).